


Regrets of Love

by Gelid



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Abuse, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Shifters, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-09-06 03:32:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16824268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gelid/pseuds/Gelid
Summary: “Even though most of your pack believes us to be monsters... and maybe they are right... I can’t help but to envy you. You have access to Seth. The purest, sincerest, and kindest mind I've ever heard... But, now you have two. I’m jealous but at the same time I get it... She is his imprint after all.”





	1. Regrets of Love

**A/N:**  
**I own nothing of Stephanie Meyer’s collection. Only my own OC (s) and storyline. Please do NOT copy and paste my work on other sites. Ask so I may do it myself.**  
**I read an article on the main characters of the Twilight movies. It said they wanted to make a new movie. These are probably RUMORS. The only reason I’m bringing it up is because it inspired me to make this. Hopefully I finish it. Please enjoy. Also, there will be cussing and possibly disturbing dealings with mental health. You have been warned.**


	2. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer ◇
> 
> This is based off of the Twilight series. All rights are to the respective author. The OC character(s) belong to me as does the plot for their life. Please enjoy.
> 
> “Even though most of your pack believes us to be monsters... and maybe they are right... I can’t help but to envy you. You have access to Seth. The purest, sincerest, and kindest mind I've ever heard... But, now you have two. I’m jealous but at the same time I get it... She is his imprint after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is my first fanfiction. I haven’t read the books so I may not be as informed (I have watched the movies though) but feel free to add in helpful advice. I will be doing my best to research the details. I’m not sure yet where this will be heading but I’ll figure that out soon I guess. The plot line will be going slow, hopefully it won’t be rushed. I hope at least one person will find joy with in my writing. Enjoy.

> Regret

The warping view of the dew filled window obstructs all of my thoughts. A legit forest of green runs along both sides of our car. This wasn’t a family fun car ride with music blaring and jokes rummaging through the atmosphere. It was quiet, so quiet my thoughts seem to sound out. It scares me. It scares me so much that I try to keep my thoughts to a whisper. Which never works. But, I try. I try so that HE won’t even get a snuff of my aims.

At the moment I am actually moving to my father and I ‘s new home. La Push Reservation. My Dad’s parents recently passed away and left a will which included a house on the outskirts of the Rez. Not too far and not too close to the bundle of the tribe. My father is by blood Quileute, although my mother is supposedly from another reservation which disbanded due to a fire that destroyed most of everything and everyone in sight. Or well, that’s what my Dad said. Dad doesn’t talk about my Mom much. He doesn’t really talk at all, unless you count the bartender at a local pub or some least of likely trustable men down an alleyway.

Besides that. Nobody. Not even me most of the time.

My father always refused to go back to his home. Trust me. I tried. I tried to convince him to go back, when I had enough care in me. Enough want for a family or at least someone or something to change my Dad into a man I always dreamt of. But, the dreams stayed dreams, then they turned into fantasies, then into a far off hope. And finally... it’s a blur. A blur from waking up and not remembering the perfection of what was... Only having the remnants of the feeling of want. Anyways, I have to worry about picking up my own pieces. I can’t keep worrying about what ifs. I need to survive. I need to-

“Get out. Start unloading.” I snap out of my thoughts to be met with the stinging reality.

We were here. My thoughts couldn’t save me now.

I start to exit the car, my bones aching after the long ride, and my eyes become sensitive from lack of exposure to the newly lit sun.

“Make sure you finish all the unpacking and find time to get groceries. I’ll be home late.” With that my Dad slugged off. Leaving me to tend to our belongings. Even though we owned very little. 

I let out a sigh and turn my way to the boxes stacked next to bags. My eyes fall to the house keys in my hand.

“With what money Dad. You spend it all.” I mumble. My hand fists the keys and I raise my head with a determined spark starting a cluster inside me. “Come on Rue. As soon as you finish the sooner you get to relax.” I finished my pep talk trying to trick my mind into seeing the positives.

I set up all the rooms, folded/hanged the clothes, put dish ware away, and etc. The last thing to do was to put away my dads box. I call it “The Box”. I am only allowed to touch it when we move. Which has been a little more than usual. Apparently it held items from my mom. Journals, letters, etc. I wasn’t allowed to read any of them. Even if I wanted to I’m too scared to even try. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder if she wanted me to read any of them...

When I finally got to sit down and take in the new scenery I marvel at the interior craftsmanship of the house.

It was two stories and my room happened to be the only room upstairs along with a bathroom across the hall. The wood inside the house was a nice shade of Hickory Fruitwood which was complimented by darker trimmings of Maple Brandy Wine wood on window frames, bed-frames, stair wells, and such. There was bits or black metal structured inside and out side the house. The ceiling of each room including the dining room was gifted with long headed fans and the kitchen was just as beautiful with the marble counters...I could have just cried. Now the outside was just as lovely with bevel wood siding all around the house and a dark black pitched roof with metal sheeting. The majority of the windows were where my room was at and they went all around the small place with metal trimming. There were two or three windows around the kitchen and living area letting a nice amount of natural sun light in.

Other than that I should be feeling better... at least I have a functioning house this time. Although my Dad is using my grandparents money and home to support us... even though I never met them I can’t help but feel guilty. My dad is using them even in death... I guess no one is safe from him not even his dead parents.

A sudden feeling snaps me out of my thoughts. The feeling of being watched. Of just an ickiness that I can’t pin point.

What I didn’t notice is that it was there ever since I entered La Push.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Sorry it’s short. Just testing the waters.  
> Please feel free to tell me your thoughts.


	3. Orbs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer ◇  
> This is based off of the Twilight series. All rights are to the respective author. The OC character(s) belong to me as does the plot for their life. Please enjoy.
> 
> “Even though most of your pack believes us to be monsters... and maybe they are right... I can’t help but to envy you. You have access to Seth. The purest, sincerest, and kindest mind I've ever heard... But, now you have two. I’m jealous but at the same time I get it... She is his imprint after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Warning: This will occasionally contain strong language (which may be unsuitable for children) and depictions of violence. There will also be problems with mental health portrayed.

Orbs

It’s common knowledge by now that dad won’t be home till late. So I’m taking my time picking out the essentials we need at home with the money I’ve saved for times like these. I am really enjoying the quaint supermarket along with the lack of people inside. It would be embarrassing if anyone caught me mumbling my grocery list, it’s a bad habit that-

“The nutmeg is on the top shelf honey.” Because of the sudden shock I quickly straighten up turning towards the song bird like voice.

Even though her voice was rills of music to my ears I sensed she could still make her presence known if push comes to shove. Along with the flare in her eye this lady was not to be messed with.  
“N-nutmeg?” I asked lacing my confusion along with the nerves that threatened to jump out of my skin. A slow blush begins rising to my ears soon placing itself along my cheeks.

A soft laugh rings out smoothing my anxiety over and allowing my stiff figure to melt.  
“You were mumbling dear. About where the nutmeg was. You are quite the jumpy one aren’t you?” I manage a small nod not really listening to her question, more so I was staring at her eyes. Or maybe it was searching. No that sounds creepy. But that’s the best way to describe it. They were beautiful. Her eyes that is. SHE was awfully beautiful over all though. But her eyes gave me a slight shiver. It gave a short comfort. But for some reason I couldn’t find what I was searching for in them. For some reason I feel a bit disappointed...  
“I haven’t seen you around before. I’m Sue, Sue Clearwater.”

Again I regain my attention back to respond to the lady. Silently chiding myself for acting rudely.  
“Rue. Rue Amor. It’s nice to meet you. I am new around here actually. I moved here around day break today. Finally got done unpacking a while back and decided to get some food to make dinner for my dad and I.” I move my hand to play with my single black beaded bracelet on the opposite wrist. I don’t talk to people often. Dad usually keeps me away from most people, all people if he could. But I was at least able to get some social interaction from friends at school. Until dad decided to put me on Home Studies.

“Amor? As in Lynn Amor? By chance is your father Reid Len?” My eyes widen a fraction.

“Oh ya it is. Did he... did you need him for something?” Dad couldn’t possibly owe anyone money by now. It’s too early. Not even past six.

“No no nothing like that! Actually my late husband and him were close when they were younger. Best friends even.” Again her laugh fires off smoothing over my worries.

“Oh I’m sorry for your loss Ma’am.” I look down slightly uncomfortable with the turn of events. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to say.

Already feeling it coming I start to cycle down the whirlwind of my thoughts.  
_‘Should I even feel this way? I didn’t know him.’_ I twist my ebony beads. The heat rising to my face once again.  
_‘But my dad did... that’s not an excuse... Should I be acting like this? Sympathizing with her? Will she be offended? Will she get mad? Will she tell dad...’_  
Another twist of the band goes. My skin starts to sting.  
_‘I’m so stupid... how could I bring this up... I already know how dad feels when I bring up... do I deserve to cry for **HER**?... I never knew **HER**...What will **HE** do.’_

“Sweetheart? Are you alright?” A hand on my shoulder leads my eyes to hers.

“Huh?” I could have palmed my face at that moment I was so embarrassed.

She looked at me a bit strangely but returned my confusion with a smile.  
“Sue.” I continue my confused stare.  
“You can call me Sue. Also it’s fine with my husband. I’m alright. Things happen that we can’t control. But, we can control how we react to them... You know who told me that?” I start to annoy myself for giving all these confused looks. Probably more frustrated now than confused. Although, again Sue laughs and thank goodness for her breaking the ice.  
“Your too cute... It was actually your mom. I only got to see her once. And that was right before her and your father left to her Rez. I always remember that because it could stand for almost anything. For anyone. Quite a diverse saying if you ask me.”

With that I start to get excited. Curiosity bubbling up inside. I couldn’t keep my questions dormant.  
“My mom? Could you tell me about her?” My eyes grow wide with interest. This brings a smile to her face.

“Well... from what I heard from my Harry your father wouldn’t shut up about her.” I grin ear to ear forgetting all about my concerns. We actually ended up settling in side a booth at the local cafe. “She was kind, patient, soft spoken, but she could lead a whole tribe if need be... I guess that is why she had to return to her reservation. She was the Cheif’s daughter. Only daughter at that so it made her responsibilities a lot hevier than usual I suppose.” Sue holds her chin in thought, but continues soon after. “That is probably why we never seen much of her. The only reason your father met her was because he was traveling. But he loved her very much. From what I remember... she was very excited to have you.” With a knowing smile it became contagious as the smile I held grows even bigger on me too.  
“But you should know that. Your dad must have been dying to tell you all their stories. They were quite something. Apparently whenever your dad thought of Lynn he smiled everytime without fail.”

My smile falls slightly but I nod firmly.  
“Of course!” If only that was true.  
I could only wish to have that dream conversation come. For all my questions to be answered of my mom. How was she? What did her laugh sound like? Did she hate hot sause as much as I do? How did she grow up? What did she look like? Did she love me... that should be an easy one... but I would like to hear it from someone else. Someone who knew her. That someone... is my father.

“So how about it then? I’m sure you will enjoy it. Your father wasn’t a huge fan of them but I’m sure you will. I just have a feeling.” Sue gives me a playful wink waiting for my response.

“Um what did you just say? Sorry I zoned out... again...” I divert my eyes, mortified I blanked out on her again. I twist my wrist band underneath the table only stopping when Sue giggles.  
_‘She really laughs a lot. It’s refreshing.’_

“No problem Hun. I said the tribe has meet ups at times. The majority of the time it’s at the beach but they are having it at Sam Uley’s house, he’s a friend, later this week. A good amount of us show up, there will be food, LOTS of food.” At that she chuckles to herself.  
“Then nearing the end there will be tellings of the tribal legends.”

“Legends?”

“Yes. The Quileute Tribe has many stories passed down from our ancestors. Some of war, some of loss, and even some of true love.” I release my beads underneath the table and all but leaned right into Sue’s hands. All my attention was on her.  
“But from what I remember your father wasn’t really a... fan.” She voices this with a slight unease so my eyebrows raise with puzzlement edging her to go on, to explain why.  
“But I’m sure he will appreciate you learning where you came from. Maybe he will even come. For old times sake. So how bout’ it?”

I run through my brain for an excuse. Even though I really want to go, more than anything. I knew I probably wouldn’t be able to. But, maybe if...  
“What time is it usually till?”

“Hm usually we start around 8 and go till maybe 10.”

I start nodding my head absentmindedly. Calculating the venture there and back and if I will make it in time.  
“O-okay I’ll make it.”

Without question Sue smiles, giving me her cell number for contact, and departs.  
So I do too.

I drive home.  
The sun begins to set so I look at the clock on my dashboard and realize it’s already 8.  
Meaning I should start getting dinner prepared. Even though dad won’t be home until later.

As soon as I got home I prepared what needed to be prepared and started placing dishware on the main table and on the coffee table in the living room. Knowing full well that dad will barely make it pass the front door non-the-less be able to stumble to the kitchen which is on the opposite side of the house.

“That should do it. I guess I’ll start eating before-“ as the mutters to myself begin I hear a jingle of keys and the front door crashing into what I assume was the standing light.

_‘He’s home too early.’_

“Damn it all. Who do they think they are huh?! Banning me from the-“ a break in his words form while he hiccups, “the bar.” There is a moment of silence. Then a screeching sound sounds. Probably from the couch sliding back with my dad’s weight.

All I wanted to do was go to my room. But that would mean passing the living room to get to the stairs.  
_‘I could stay in the kitchen. But he would find me and get even more mad.’_ I rise from my chair and begin walking to the living room.  
One step. Two steps. I enter and direct my attention to the stairs in the corner.  
_‘Almost to the steps. Don’t look at him. Don’t look-‘_

“Hey.” A gruff voice sounds from the couch.

I turn on my heel my eyes catching his. His held no recognition or care for me. They were empty. As usual. The silence and smog like smell of booze stifles the house.  
“Yes Sir?”

“Food. Get me food.” He sets his hand over his eyes while waving the other one towards my direction.  
“Turn off the lights. I have a headache.”

Quickly I grab his plate and collect my composure.  
“I made pasta. Did you want some water with it or some tea?”

With that he throws me a ticked off stare and scoffs.  
“Are trying to fucking say something you little shit?” That throws me off of my composed state. My eyes widen and I hold the plate in my right hand while shaking my left hand wildly.

“No Sir! I was just asking because that’s all we have for now-“

“You mean you didn’t get any booze?! Good for nothing shit. I give you a house, I give you a warm fucking bed, and you can’t just grab a six pack?” He leans forward and pushes himself off the seat.

I panic stepping away from him. Knowing there are two things I could do. Stay silent. Or explain. Both will end out bad but I need to choose.  
“D-Dad I’m too young remember? I can’t buy anything l-like that yet-“ he made his way to stand in front of me. His towering presence silencing me.

He snatches the plate from my hand and stares me down. I know what he is doing. So I try to keep eye contact.  
But, I break. I look down, then up, and then to the right. Trying to find interest in the art hanging or the flooring. Anything but his eyes.

“It’s a shame.” After a series of hiccups he continues. “A. Big. Fat. Shame. That you only look like your mother. You don’t have her gall.” He takes a step forward. His eyes narrowing down at me. My heart is stuck in my throat. “You don’t have her strength.” At that he throws the China on the floor, shattering it into so many pieces. The noise scared me and I yelped as I lept a few inches away.  
“Your nothing but a big ball of fear. NOTHING LIKE HER!” I feel as if my legs are about to buckle under me.  
I am nothing. I’ve been told this more than once but for some reason him pointing out the sepcifications hurts way more.  
“You look like her. But your different. When I look at you I don’t feel her love.” With his long reach he grabs my wrists tugging me mercilessly to be closer to him.  
“You don’t smell like her. You don’t feel like her. But you sound like her and that’s what is fucking me up in the head!” He growls in my ear every frustration, every thing that had him captive. And I take it. Until I see his eyes. And it’s something I didn’t want to see. To the point where I try to pull away from his hot tempered hands that I have become so use to.

“Daddy no. Stop.” I state firmly. I had to.

That look in his eye disperses within a second. Instead it is replaced with rage. But I’d rather it be that.  
“Daddy Huh? I am not your father and you are not my daughter. I am no father to a monster!” He throws me against the wall. Causing picture frames to fall to the ground along with my body.  
“If it wasn’t for Lynn you would have died! You count your lucky stars that she chose you!” And with that he angrily kicks my stomach.

I don’t say a peep as he does it another time.  
Instead when he stops I asume he is finished and I delicately lay my hand on my stomach. But. He wasn’t finished.  
My father is a drunk but he isn’t stupid. So he stays away from my face. Knowing that would make the bruises more noticeable.  
So he kicks me again. But because my hand was clutching my stomach, where he was aiming, my hand was met with that force.

Time passes as my father forgets about me. Slugging over to his room. Slamming the door.  
I’m left alone. Left alone with my thoughts.

  
_‘I triggered him. This is my fault. It’s not like I don’t have a roof over my head right? So maybe I shouldn’t complain over_ ** _THIS_** _. **THIS** is because of me anyways.’_ My eyes begin to blur. Maybe from the lack of sleep I got on the way here. Or maybe from the lack of air I’m getting.

I better sleep on it. I just got to make it through the night. Make it through the day. Make it through the week. And just press replay on that. So I keep my will. My will to live.

I’m itching to twist my black beads. But I can’t move my hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> So hopefully it wasn’t too intense for you. I just needed to add in somethings so you could understand where she is coming from and what she deals with. Consciously and unconsciously. Also, some of the symbolism with in the test as well. Please feel free to comment your opinions or thoughts in general! And also feel free to leave a Kudos in support of this piece! Thank you!


	4. Sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer ◇  
> This is based off of the Twilight series. All rights are to the respective author. The OC character(s) belong to me as does the plot for their life. Please enjoy.
> 
> “Even though most of your pack believes us to be monsters... and maybe they are right... I can’t help but to envy you. You have access to Seth. The purest, sincerest, and kindest mind I've ever heard... But, now you have two. I’m jealous but at the same time I get it... She is his imprint after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Warning: This will occasionally contain strong language (which may be unsuitable for children) and depictions of violence. There will also be problems with mental health portrayed.

Sense

It was hard to wake up in the morning. As it was to wake up the next. Since I can still move I’m guessing my rib bones were badly bruised not broken. I wish I could say the same for my hand.  
I managed to wrap it in some bandages before I began my morning.

The first two days I was inclosed in the house. Dad didn’t tell me not to leave, even though his looks told me other wise. But simply put it I was in too much pain to be leaving. So I just did what I could while left at home.  
1.) Made Breakfast  
2.) Clean  
3.) Finish my assignments online.  
4.) Talk down the bar keeper from the local bar and grill. (That somehow got our home number.)  
5.) Fill the bird feeder.  
6.) Make Dinner  
All whilist clutching my right hand to my stomach. I guess you could say I did it all single handily.  
... Get it?

After I chuckle lightly at my cheesy joke I begin my third morning a bit better than usual. My ribs are not as sore and my hand is almost able to close all the way. Which is understandable because as a kid I never really got sick and when things like... **THAT** happen I heal up pretty quick. Which is good on my dad’s part.  
But let’s not major on that right now. Today I’m actually going to explore La Push a bit more... by heading to the beach!  
Thursday is going to be my day. I’ll make sure of it.

Before I begin my trek I find a suitable outfit for the chilly weather which consisted of a black windbreaker, denim jeans, and a pair of black chucks.

Since the beach is not so far I just walk there instead of taking my car. It lets me take in the scenery and to be alone again with my thoughts.  
Which I don’t know at times if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.

A clear blue sky on my left and a rapid growth of green on my right. Both felt right. Both were etched in my being.

I know I don’t have the best way to explain things, especially what I just said now doesn’t help my case... But what I mean is whenever my family moved I would always feel best in nature. As if every tree I came across in a forest or every open plain and pond settled near always, no matter what, calls me. It lets me know I always have a home somewhere.

Laugh. Go ahead. Call me an old soul or whatever but it feels nice. Free even. Even with my short leash in life.

The sound of gulls squawking and the rushing waves crashing bring me to the beach known as First Beach. I stand on the conceret path way which is directly in front of the parking spaces. Not really wanting to actually enter the sandy lot but instead enjoying the view.

“Enjoying the view?” My eyes widden in surprise at the voice.

I turn to face three very tall, very dark, and very muscular men. I cran my neck up to meet their eyes and force down the frog forming in my throat.

The first guy waves his massive hand in my face trying to grab my attention.

“You good?” The second asked concern shining through his laid back persona.

The first guy introduces himself.  
“I’m Quil by the way. The brains of this group.” He says with all the confidence in the world that I almost didn’t sense the sarcasim and almost didn’t duck along with Quil when the second guy swung to hit him.

“Don’t mind him, I’m Embry. And this guy-“ Embry gestures with his thumb “is Jacob.” I usually suck at memorizing names and faces but with these three my brain analyzed every structure.

Quil was around 6’0” and was a bit shorter than Embry but was more muscular, with brown eyes, dark skin, black hair, a constant grin. He gave off more of a playful vibe than Embry who stood calmly in the back of the group.  
Embry was of course taller than Quil and leaner or what I call being slimmer than the bulky Quil. He had a thinner face than Quil and seem the quieter one of the two. More to himself.  
But then I soon drag my attention to the last guy, Jacob I believe.

My eyes connect with his and a sudden tention fills the air. I could hear my heart beat a mile a minute, my palms begin to glisten, and my body retracted from him. All it wanted to do was leave, to not be anywhere near this guy. But, at the same time something inside me was curious enough to stay.

“Nice to meet you.” Is all Jacob said. As if he sensed my displeasure in the moment. He eye balled me for a second but shed a smile.  
“We take great pride in the beach. It’s quite the sight. But I would be careful about how long you are out especially if you are walking home.”

The caution in his voice leaked enough for me to question what he meant.  
The other guys looked away or down commenting to Jacob not to scare me. But instead I ask,  
“How come?”

The jabber stops and Jacob replies.  
“Animal attacks. They have been around Forks and around here. You just need to be careful that’s all.” At that a shiver runs up my spine.

“Like what type of animal?” Animal attacks seem strange. Only because from what I knew there weren’t many animals that attacked out of no where with out a trigger. Sure there were mountain lions and some big birds from what I was told about.

‘Why are birds even an option though... really.’

“Not sure yet. Police haven’t found any tracks or anything...Except the bodies.” At the last part Quil more than less whispers but I still catch it. As well as his bald up fists. His whole figure changes. Filled with vexation.

Embry knocks his shoulder, “Talk about trying not to scare her Quil.” Embry chuckles lightly. “Let’s change the subject. Rue, your new here I bet. Who are you here with?”

I give a reassuring smile to Quil. Silently thanking Embry for switching everything up.  
I will be fine. It’s not like I run into forests or what not looking to mess with some animals every day. Maybe an occasional squirrel will get on my nerve but they had it coming.  
“I’m here with my dad actually. Reid Len.”

All their eyes fill with knowing.  
“Oh Ol’ Len’s son!” Embry laughs scratching the back of his head.

“They say his temper was as bad as Paul’s! Maybe worse.” Quil adds on in a joking manner.

I brush off the fact that I didn’t know who Paul was or what was so funny about him and his temper. But even so, I chuckle along with them.  
“Yep that would be him. You should see him during football season.” Again they laugh and I smile to fill the gap.

“Anyways, we should get going. We were just checking the area to make sure there were no animals that matched the descriptions of the attacks. You should start heading home. Don’t want anything to snag you.” Jacob states. Pulling a tight smile to lure the idea of a tease but what he said felt a little more than that. Even his suggestion itches me the wrong way. I’m not usually sensitive to others giving me advice or even telling me the best thing to do. But Jacob gave me an odd disgust of his authority.

No, I’m just being touchy.

Again our eyes lock and mine don’t budge. Something about his dark orbs give me an off putting feeling. It’s not like he’s a bad guy but his presence makes me feel as if I am a kid. Which I am, but that’s not what I mean. Maybe... I don’t even know what I mean I guess.

It takes a sharp feeling at the back of my head to break contact with Jake. I then swivel my neck to the woods. Which was quite dark even though it was early. It’s once calm and peaceful atmosphere shifted to a lingering of a thirst. Of what. I have no clue. But all I could do was stare. My body ignoring all other factors such as the boys. Zoning in on whatever or whoever was watching.

 _‘Watching. Something is watching. Scanning, inspecting, call it what you want I feel it. But that’s stupid. It’s just a sick sense of paranoia that’s all.’_ I choose the rational path. It’s just like all those other times. You think there is something watching you so you feel uneasy and you look but there was nothing there. A common mistake that’s all.

I shake off my nerves and turn to smile uneasily at the boys,  
“Sorry about that! Totally zoned out.” I let out a nervous laugh.

“What were you looking at-“ Embry didn’t get to finish the sentence before his eyes grew to a darker brown tint. His figure stiffened along with Quil and Jacob, who were staring directly at the forest. Directly behind me.

“Shit.” Jacob curses.

“How did we not-“ Quil adds on.

“What’s wrong guys?” I try to add in feeling the ambiance change within the aloof group.

“Embry take Rue back home. Take the car.” Jacob states while Quil throws Embry a set of keys.

“W- wait I can just walk-“ Jacob rips his gaze from the scene to stare straight at me.

“No. Embry is going to take you. GO.” My body stiffens and all I’m able to take in is the fact that Embry and Jacob share a silent nod while I am shifted into the car.

I give quiet directions to my house. Trying not over think the severity of what happened.

Over the drive Embry finally speaks up.  
“Don’t worry. Jacob is always over protective like that. It was probably just that animal ya know? So don’t stress.” With his eyes on the road he grins reassuringly.

“But what can he do if it was?” With that I focus on the road. Not realizing I spoke out my thoughts. Not catching Embry’s change in demeanor.

After a short while we pull up to my house.  
“Well here we are. Wow... your house is just... wow. I never got a chance to go to the Ol’ Len’s home. But I’m missing out.” Embry trys to joke.  
“I would walk you to your door but I really need to go this time. Next time I see you though I’ll for sure treat you to something!” Embry’s eyes glitter with future plans.

I shake my head lightly giggling,  
“Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. I’ll see you around. Good luck with the animal. If you get a look of it let me know!” I give a titter and exit the car.

My feet leading me inside my house and up the stairs to my room.  
I flop on my bed letting my light ashy brown hair scatter around me.

Apparently there are many shades of brown for hair. I really don’t care to notice. But I guess my shade of brown matched exactly with my mom.  
I don’t know if I’m happy with that or disappointed I couldn’t inherit any of my father’s characteristics. His dark skin, dark eyes, or even his dark hair. Instead I carried my mother’s fair complexion. With light skin, light hair, and eyes that modeled after the sky. But a stormy sky. Filled with thunder and lightning. Clouds sheilding the sun.

What if I looked like my dad. Would he have ended up liking me? Would we have had gone to daddy and daughter dances? Would we have stayed in one home? Would he drink... would he hurt me.

I guess based on my looks you could say the Quileute got kicked right out of me.

As I laid there on my bed I could only think of his eyes. Jacob’s. Only thinking of his eyes.  
The power in his eyes held a presence that left no discussions. But... it didn’t bother me the way it should have.  
Sure he meant what he said for the best. I’m sure. But something lit inside me at that moment. A flame. A flicker of defiance. Or was it. Why would it be... All I know is that I didn’t like it. I didnt like how I felt.

At that moment a series of howls sound. My heart races and my eyes quickly glances to my window.  
Wolves.

Whenever my dad did tell me bed time stories it would be about wolves. They always associated with danger and destruction. A warrior. In all the stories they brought death.  
It was the worse thing to have to deal with a wolf. It’s strength, it’s agility, it’s smarts... you could not come out on top against a wolf.

It brought a quickness in my breaths and my heart. It left a bad taste in my mouth. Or maybe it was the blood from the inside of my cheek that I bit through.  
Whatever it was... I know for sure the stinging on my wrist came from the black beads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Sorry for the long wait. Was really struggling with motivation through out my winter break to get out of bed...  
> Anyways... hopefully by the next chapter our ‘romantic interest’ will appear. ♡  
> Thank you for everyone reading it really pushes this story forward. Thank you for the kudos as well. Please share your thoughts and opinions down in the comments section! And feel free to share some love with the kudos button if you want me to continue this writing piece! You all reall motivate me a bunch to write what I love! Thank you! Have a great time.


	5. Awkward Silences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer ◇  
> This is based off of the Twilight series. All rights are to the respective author. The OC character(s) belong to me as does the plot for their life. Please enjoy.
> 
> “Even though most of your pack believes us to be monsters... and maybe they are right... I can’t help but to envy you. You have access to Seth. The purest, sincerest, and kindest mind I've ever heard... But, now you have two. I’m jealous but at the same time I get it... She is his imprint after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Warning: This will occasionally contain strong language (which may be unsuitable for children) and depictions of violence. There will also be problems with mental health portrayed.

Awkward Silence

Friday morning came and I continued my classes online as well as finishing up my normal morning routines.

Who’s going to use Calculus in life?

Today was the day. The bonfire. Sue texted me some more information about the meet up. 8-10 she f said, so I should be clear for take off in a few hours.  
I wasn’t sure if I had to bring any food with me so I decided to make a dessert ‘a while back’. A while back as in still in the progression of figuring out what to choose to bake.

“There is logic to it Rue. It has to be something warm since it will be cold out. But, there IS a fire going...” as I flip through a cookbook that belonged to my mom I hold my hand to my chin.

Even though I dont have access to The Box my dad thought it was necessary for me to know how to cook/bake. So it’s only natural that he gave me my mom’s recipe book.  
It ranged from super easy dishes to full blown feasts and 17 layered cakes. So I did what I could had only done with the books. I memorized them. Font and back. Inside and out. You say it.

The best part. They were all handwritten notes. My mom I gota say had the most beautiful handwriting out there! With all the swirls and cursive it was elegant as well as super hard to read! But I made due. As long as I don’t mix up sugar with salt we are good.  
Being one of the only belongings I have of my mom that I can look at or use as much as I want I couldn’t help but read between the lines. That is, what I mean is I read everything I could to see if there was anything at all that was ment for me in particular... which there isn’t but it was worth a shot.

The only message was one on the opening page.

February XXXX  
To my beloved. Stay strong and you will prosper at all you do.

♡ L.A.

I assume it was to my father since it was written a bit before I was born being I was born on April the 13. But at times I would imagine that she was talking to me. Acknowledging my existence. But I don’t keep those thoughts for long. It makes things easier if I understand that my life wasn’t needed or wanted.

By the time I finally finished the desserts it was time to leave. I settled on some gooey brownies for the trip. My mouth was already watering from the sight.  
I got the directions to the meet up from Sue ahead of time. And I didn’t waste a second to hop into my truck and ride over there.

I was nervous to say the least. Maybe Sue just invited me to be nice. What if nobody knows who I am and kicks me out... and what if they don’t give me my brownie tin back???

These are serious questions here.

I shake my head free from these thoughts and focus on the road. Tonight is suppose to be a fun night. I shouldn’t ruin it with my worries. Everything should be fine. Dad should be home late, I should be sticking to Sue’s side like glue, and if all goes well I’ll get some compliments on my brownies.  
But what I couldn’t wait all week for was for the legends.

Ever since I was young I loved to read, loved to listen to stories about the past or even little fairy tales that brought depictions from other pairs of eyes. My dad use to tell me stories of my mom’s Rez when I was a kid.  
He would say,  
_‘The Amor line is well known where your mother grew up. Strong, passionate, and fearless leaders. All revered by any under them. But, one out of every generation will bring shame to the tribe. Sooner or later. But you won’t have to worry about that. Because you aren’t going back there.’_

At times I really didn’t care if I was shamed, I always wanted to go back.

I pull up the wide and long drive way of Emily’s house. It is soft spoken. Quaint. And the drive way was more of a dirt path with patches of grass here and there. More grass the closer you get to the actual house.

The butterflies in my stomach sunk once I realize no body was actually was outside. No fire. Or chairs.

Did I come early?

I check my clock but it was exactly the time the get together was suppose to start.  
I shake off my nerves.

I park my truck and exit it. With the brownie tin in hand I start my way towards the door.  
My fist raising to meet the oak, counting down to three in my head.

3...2...1

Before I got a chance to knock my hand stops mid air. I am faced with a smile that rivals Sue’s.

_‘Or maybe I just haven’t seen enough smiles.’_

“You must be Rue! Sue told me a bunch about you!” I suspected this was the owner of the tiny home Emily.

I got the run down from Sue

Emily, I assumed, glimmered with confidence as she continued to say stuff that obviously I am not catching. But I couldn’t help but struggle with forming any words.  
The only thing I could do was shove the tin that my hands clutched into Emily’s free hands.

“Rue Amor.” As I made an effort to introduce myself I realized she already knew.

Great. Just great. I fought the urge to slap my head. That’s all I could get out.

As I focus in on Emily awaiting a response she bursts out in a chime.  
“Your too cute!” As if she realized something she spoke again. “Oh how rude of me, come in!” I let our a sigh of relief.

As I enter the home I take notice of the simplicity of it. The majority of the styling I can tell Emily has control over, but I can see in tiny corners it is filled with nostalgia. Picture frames of their wedding, friends, and even oil greased flannels lying across a couch.

It’s sweet.

“Rue! You’re here!” I follow the chirpy voice when I spot Sue Clearwater.

Her hair had flakes of white along with her clothing and in her hands she held a steaming pie.  
I then take a glimpse at Emily who also has some, what I assume is flour, over her.

“I’m sorry, did I come too early? I thought the timing was 8 right?” With that Sue let out a snort of a laugh.

“Oh dear you are fine. Everyone usually comes late anyways. Especially Jake’s gang. Which includes my own son, you would think he would be here helping his mother but no.” Sue shakes her head jokingly.

Emily interjects, “a good side to this all is that we get first try of Rue’s brownies she made.” Emily raises the tin up as if she won a golden ticket from Willy Wonka himself.

Sue’s eyes glimmer, “Rue, you didn’t have to. But, since you did Emily and I should have a taste. We bake here and there.” Sue finishes it off with a lick of sarcasm that Emily, which finally is confirmed, chuckles lightly at.

 _‘Is it some inside joke, cause I don’t get it.’_ I let the comment go not thinking too much of it. Instead I clasp my hands together, anxiously awaiting the first bite of the brownies.

Emily holds the knife horizontally to the tin, measuring a small piece for both her and Sue.  
With a small breath the first piece is cut, with the second the two women plops the gooey dessert in their mouths.  
My nerves relax when the two both sigh and release a unanimous,  
YUM.

“Wow you have a knack at this don’t you Rue?” Emily praises.

“Yep, these are delicious. The boys might not even get to have one.” Sue responds jokingly.

I smile widely, my hands relax at my side.  
“Thank you, they are actually my mom’s recipe. Apparently she liked to cook/bake.”

“Your mom’s recipes are genius then.” Emily smiles and continues to work. Sue side eyes me but I continue to smile. Her eyes could burn holes if need be I get the feeling.  
“Rue, dear could you help me set up the outside chairs and table please? My husband, Sam should be home soon to help but I thought we ought to start.” Emily starts, “only of course if you don’t mind!”

I raise my hands defensively and respond, “ Of course not! Whatever I can do to help I can do.”

And that is how we began fixing up her yard before the guests started filing in. It was beautiful. Everything from the lining on the tables, the chairs, and even the Bon Fire set up.

“Sam! Your back so soon?” I hear the ringing of Emily’s voice.

I turn to be met with a shear amount of affection gushing out of Emily. Who is at the moment with her husband I presume. I can’t help but envy her. The look in the man’s eyes is one I could only wish to have. Pure and utter love. One to which will not stray or break. I can tell that he would walk straight through a concrete wall for her.  
Or maybe I read too many romantic books during my free time at home.

Dad always did say I was oblivious of things that happen to me rather than the other way around.

Next thing I know Emily is calling me.

“Rue, over here come here.” Emily waves me over and I can’t help but feel excited that she remembered I was here. I’m sure others looking into this situation would say I looked like some type of stray.  
In the end I headed over to where her and her husband was.  
“Sam this is Rue. Rue this is Sam.” Emily gives a narrowed look at Sam, most likely a warning to be nice or something between.

Sam sticks out his hand and I grab it.  
Sure he was steaming hot, as in looks but his hand is actually steaming hot. I resist the reaction to pull back but instead pull a smile that hides it pretty well.  
“Rue. Rue Amor.” My Dad has always been hot blooded but this was a different level.

“She is the Len’s Granddaughter. Remember the one they spoke of time to time Sam.” Emily nudged him.

The only thing Sam did for a while was stare at me. Which ended up making me feel a bit bad.  
Did I smell?  
Did I have something on my face?  
Was there flour on me?  
A ton of questions were raised but they extinguished right when Sam shed a grin.

“Nice to meet you. Hopefully you plan to stay here. It would be nice to have another girl around to civilize the savages.” Sam winks at Emily.

“He means the other boys.” Emily points out and I laugh.  
“Speaking of those ruffians where are they? Most of the guests have arrived about now.” Emily scolds with her hands on her hips.

At this moment I took my time to fully analyze Emily.  
_‘That sounds bad. She’s not a piece of meat Rue.’_ I almost roll my eyes from that thought.

But Emily was beautiful, everything I would love to be. Beautiful copper skin, raven hair, and picture perfect pearly whites. The only thing was the scars on the face that ran down her arm. Sure it’s not like I haven’t noticed but I didn’t dwell on it. I guess I got locked in on her inviting presence instead of her face.  
It’s not like I don’t have scars. I bet everyone has at least one. Wether or not it’s surface level. Not saying that I think it’s normal because it’s not but I know there are different events that others go through that can’t be told by their appearance alone. Emily is striking. Unlike the plain me.

“They should be here soon. You know how they like to hang at the beach for a while before heading over.” Sam states.

Sam then excuses himself but not before giving Emily a feather light kiss on the cheek. Which of course has Emily blushing. Emily shakes it off and continues to introduce me to everyone who has arrived so far.  
“Finally, Billy Black.”

The man in the wheel chair with long black locks grins at me.  
“Nice to finally meet you Rue. Sue has told me a whole bunch about you.”

“Hopefully all good?” I ask optimistically.

All Billy did was wink. And we all laughed.  
“I can’t wait for the rest of the boys to meet you, I’m sure you will do great with them. Especially my son, Jacob.” At that the hairs on the back of my neck stand. Billy picks up on this and questions.  
“You’ve meet him I’m guessing.”

I chuckle and do a tiny scratch to my head in embarrassment that he caught on. This Billy Black seems down to earth but there is more to him that meets the eye.  
“Yes I did along with a couple others. But they were all very polite.” I finish.

Billy eyes me a bit more until something catches his eye behind me. With this his smile spreads.  
“Jacob, my boy.”

Again. With his presence. I’m shaken a bit. But I compose myself.  
“Dad.” Jacob spares little conversation but shares his smile when he spots his father.  
“The boys are on the way but I came ahead to check how the food is going.”

Billy laughs heartily and I stand close to Emily who chuckles.  
“Jake this is Rue. She said you two met already so I was hoping you could introduce her to the rest of the gang.” Emily chirps.

Jacob makes eyes contact with me then parts to look at Emily nodding once.  
“Ya sure.”

The two adults left leaving me with Jacob and my beads.  
“They should be here soon so there’s no reason to look so nervous.” Is all he says.

I wince at the honesty of that statement.  
“Is it that obvious?”

He chuckles, “no but I have a sense of sorts for this stuff.”

“Oh really? I’m sure anyone could snuff me out as a scaredy cat.” I grimace.

Jacob laughs extra at this one but quickly directs his attention farther up the driveway.  
“Here they come.”

Soon I am surrounded by laughter and argument that varies from sources. But as much as I tried to hide beside Jacob is a shroud of silence, hoping nobody realized my existence, it didn’t work.

“Rue?” Goes Quil.

“KangaRUE?” Goes Embry.

“Oh n-“ I am basically clobbered over by two overgrown children who’s body weight is 10 Times my own which is making me wonder why I’m not tipping over yet.  
“You guys—can’t—breath.”

As they release they don’t even let me rest before they chatter my ears off.

I look to Jacob for help but he gives me a shrug which I guess meant,  
_‘It’s your problem.’_

After not answering anything the boys said I notice a burning set of eyes shooting into me.  
I turn reluctantly to see a girl around my age that is giving me a rough stare.

I turn my attention to the girl and smile,  
“I’m Rue Amor.” I introduce my self.

But all I got was her looking me up and down and scoffing.  
“Jake I guess you got stuck baby sitting huh?”

I felt a sting from her words but they weren’t that bad.

I then got a bit of back up when both Embry and Quil cut in with glares.

”Leah. Not cool.” Embry spits. Leah rolls her eyes but give it no mind.

The girl’s eyes continue to scatter all over me, as if she was searching for any flaws visible to the naked eye. I felt exposed.  
But I kept my smile on my face. Standing my ground. By being surrounded by a bunch of people in a new home, at a new place I refuse to be seen as low like I did before I moved to La Push. I need to be stronger.

It took Jake to break the standoff.  
“Rue, this is Leah Clearwater.” Is all he said before going back to viewing the stare off.

It took a lot to hold off the confused look that threatened to pop on my face. Instead I let a vein pop.  
I guess in this sense the saying like mother like daughter doesn’t apply...

“Finally,” I look around expectantly but see no one else that I wasn’t already introduced to was within our circle.  
But, as if Jacob could hear the guy a mile away a voice calls out.

“Leah!” A guy yells getting closer to us step by step. As he gets closer I can tell he is drenched. I try to hold back my amusement but it slips.  
“You could of warned me before hand! The water was freezing!”

“That is Seth Clearwater.” Jacob finishes as Seth zones in on Leah. Standing a few heads above her.

“Then you would have dodged it moron.” Leah respond to Seth.

“Honestly though Leah, that was pretty funny-“ before finishing his sentence Seth smiles and finds my eyes.

I try to return the smile hoping that he wouldn’t be bi-polar like someone I just met.

In that instance his jaw goes slack, his eyes seem to darken, and we are thrown into an awkward silence.

For once I didn’t start it. I swear.

Or so I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Okay I know. It took a while. And I ended on a cliff hanger? Just trust me here. I was going to upload earlier but the app I use to write on DELETED THE LAST BIT OF THIS CHAPTER. Honestly I cried. And the cliff hanger is needed. Trust me. Anyways, what do you guys use to write on, if you write, just for reference.  
> Well, see you until next time. Hopefully it is soon.


	6. Half

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer ◇  
> This is based off of the Twilight series. All rights are to the respective author. The OC character(s) belong to me as does the plot for their life. Please enjoy.
> 
> “Even though most of your pack believes us to be monsters... and maybe they are right... I can’t help but to envy you. You have access to Seth. The purest, sincerest, and kindest mind I've ever heard... But, now you have two. I’m jealous but at the same time I get it... She is his imprint after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Warning: This will occasionally contain strong language (which may be unsuitable for children) and depictions of violence. There will also be problems with mental health portrayed.

His eyes seemed to fit exactly what I was searching for. Well I guess it was something I was searching for without realizing.  
Even though on surface level he was just as beautiful as the others with his copper skin, tall looming figure, dark hair, and eyes there was something different. Sure his eyes were brown. Just like Sue’s. Just like my Dads. Just like Leah’s. It’s different though. I could pin point the exactness of the mahogany orb that it scares me.

He scares me. Or at least that’s what this feeling is right?  
The goosebumps rising to my flesh, the quickened pulsation of my heart, my chest basically strangling me, and what I could guess shortness of breath, we will find out soon enough if I pass out, because I really can’t focus on wither my lungs are filled with oxygen or not at the moment.  
It was fear or a heart attack. At least that’s what Google says.

I can hear sharp intakes of breaths from some people, not very believable _‘I told you so(s)’_ , and even an _‘oh shit’_ being flung around.  
I would love to look around and scan the other’s faces to at least see how I should feel in this situation but I didn’t comfortable enough in this predicament to be the one to break the eye contact.

Luckily I didn’t have to.

“Seth you fucking idiot.” At this Seth’s eyes trace their way back to Leah’s fiery set.  
“You did not just- No. You DID NOT. You hear me? I said no!” She practically roared. Basically denouncing a truth that she didn’t want.

Kinda like me when I would get picked for popcorn reading in class by a friend, after mouthing a threat at them not to, during primary school.

Some of the boys quiet down along with the rest of the visitors.  
Realizing the attention that was on small talk shifted to us.

Jacob’s stiff figure finally speaks.  
“Leah. You know there is no controlling it.”

Embry peaks over Quil’s shoulder slightly.  
“Ya there’s no ‘chooseys’ Leah remember?”

Leah shoots a demented glare at Embry that makes him shut up real quick.

We all turn to Seth who’s eyes were a bit glazed over. He tried to turn his head again towards me but I spotted it and ducked my head.

Leah then stuck her finger deep into Seth’s chest declaring,  
“You will not.” Her voice was filled with rage but the desperation leaked out.  
“She’s nothing but a half-blooded money leech who won’t stay long enough to know a damn thing.”

At this everyone was quick on there feet before the last of her speech was delivered. As if it was collectively agreed upon to interfere.

Quil and Embry were grabbing Leah while Jacob and three others, that I can’t name, struggled to hold onto Seth.

Talk about a family squabble. It looked about as bad as what I have only heard in tales about a game called _‘Monopoly’_.  
Too soon?

“Take it back.” Is all that came out of Seth. He was basically fuming. Literally and figuratively. I swear I could almost spot steam rising from his figure. 

As they continue to argue, while slowly being dragged closer to opposite sides to the forest that accompanied Emily’s back yard, I felt a hand lightly place itself on my shoulder.  
Saying it made me jump is an understatement. But I calmed down once I noticed it was Sam.

I tried to open my mouth to speak but I was surprised to find nothing but air.  
But I didn’t have to say anything for the gap to be filled.

“Don’t touch her.” A growl echos and I look around in search of a dog but there were none. The voice didn’t sound like anyone’s I would recognize. The snarl didn’t sound like it came from a specific place if anything I was just as confused that if I actually heard correctly.

No one seemed fazed from the noise so I pushed it aside thinking that I misheard.  
Sam’s hand was no longer on my shoulder which made me glance back up at him. He seemed to have whitened just a smidge, but it was probably just the bad lighting outside.

The last thing I hear from the Clearwater’s was Leah,  
“It’s more of a curse! I told you Black! Look at the divide! Like a light switch!”

I couldn’t piece together her cryptic rant but it gave me chills.

Maybe I shouldn’t have come here.

 _‘Half-Blood.’_ I think.

I never thought of that one before.

“Rue?” Emily calls out as a drift out of my thoughts to turn to look at her and her husband.

“Um I guess they didn’t like me ha ha.” I feign humor.

“She’ll come around Rue. Leah is a bit protective of her friends.” Emily stated, leading me to a chair around the campfire.

If that was ‘protective’ I don’t think I want to know what is beyond that.

“I mean them both.”’ I mumble. In thought.

Emily stayed silent.

“You know maybe I should go home.” I fumble with my hands, realizing at some point they will all come back.

Not really liking that thought I would rather leave. This was a bad-

“That’s a bad idea!” Emily cried.

My eyes lifted from my hands as I meet Emily’s.  
“What? Didn’t you see what happened? They practically hated me.” I state sternly.  
“I wouldn’t want to start that again and ruin this night.” I finish unable to hide my dejectedness.

Emily’s eyes gleam with a flicker of understanding as she spoke.  
“Rue, from now on. As long as you are here. We are one. We are a family. And Leah will have to deal with that. You have a place here too. Whether or not you lived here all you life or not. Whether you came from the same tribe or a sister tribe.” I try not to flinch at the last part. But I knew Emily knew that needed to be said. I needed to hear it.

The same blood that ran through Leah ran through me.

I thank Emily and we laughed at the thought of how Embry and Quil both looked like pale figurines during the whole commotion. After Emily says she needed to talk to Sue. Most likely about the situation with her kids.  
Honestly I’m glad for Sue and Emily. They make the whole transition to moving here easier.

By the time everyone gathered around the campfire and the legends were about to start Jake’s crew came out from the woodworks. Legit. They came out of the woods.

I stayed sitting in my spot half listening half not really to Sue and Emily. Trying to pay no mind to the pack of men, and girl, making their way to the fire.

 _‘Don’t look.’_ Was the key to my thoughts at the moment.

I don’t even flinch as one by one the stocky and tall men find a spot to sit. But I found myself glancing out of the corner of my eye at the next one.

Seth Clearwater.

At this point Sue and Emily stop talking. But I didn’t realize of course.  
But then again I was sucked into a gaze with Mr. Clearwater.

It’s something about this situation that should be creepy. Just staring at someone you don’t really know after an awkward fight should make this pretty uncomfortable.  
But surprisingly it wasn’t.  
It calmed my nerves. But at the same time my heart quickens.

I take in his obvious nervous stance on the side. It makes me feel bad. He can’t seem to decide on where to sit. Only if we hadn’t gotten into that squabble.  
Too bad too sad. At least I’m safe from any discussion. And that lets my nerves settle. There is no space anyways, with Sue and Emily sitting beside me, for him to sit anyways.

With this thought I try to make my guilt go down from not wanting any social interaction with him.

But just as I start to focus on them flames ahead I hear the words that almost makes my face cringe.

“Seth, come sit over here near Rue.” Emily voices.

“Ya we can move.” Sue affirms with a smile in my direction.

My eyes move back and forth between these women trying to figure out the code to their actions.  
They were moving in sync as they rise from their sitting position only to move a bit over towards the incoming Sam, who somehow already had two extra lawn chairs in hand for the two, and plopping down.

And as soon as I realized, my mouth gaping like a goldfish, Seth carefully, almost in a slow motion, sits in the space between Emily, Sue, and I. His height blocking my view of the women.

My breaths seem to become much more louder and my hands appeared to utter all of my insecurities with their movements.  
I struggle with the idea of giving a hello. But I didn’t have the guts.

Instead of me introducing myself, Seth does. In a way.

“So Rue. That’s like a plant right?”  
He slides his ginormous hand behind his head giving a grin.

The flame of the fire hopefully hid my blush. His smile shot through my heart. It was purely pure. And it scared me that he could see right through me because of that.  
But of course I had to ruin the moment.

“Regret. It means a bitter regret.” It ends up being me, again, that causes a flipping drift in the conversation.

“I bet those plants could be pretty bitter.” At this Seth’s face turns bitter as well.

I laugh covering my mouth with my sleeve.  
“I’m guessing your not a veggies guy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Have a great day.


End file.
